emilyvgordon

Anonymous asked:

Emily, I'm in love for the first time and while it's really wonderful it's also terribly gut wrenching and emotional. I care about him way more than I thought was humanly possible. I'm finding myself thinking a lot about how much I don't deserve him and how much better he can do and sometimes when he says "I love you" I feel bad like there's no way he could mean it! Is this normal? Is it a phase I will outgrow?

emilyvgordon answered:

Sadly, that feeling is normal. At least it was for me growing up. I didn’t care about myself much, so I couldn’t fathom a guy caring about me at all, and would create my entire life around making that guy happy and making sure he was okay with me all the time. It wasn’t a pretty time.

There’s a story about a little girl who had a pet cat. She loved her cat soooooo much, but she was so scared that her cat was going to run away. So she locked him in a closet, with a litter box and food. Every day she opened the closet to pet the cat. After two weeks of this, the cat finally figured out how to get out, and as soon as the little girl opened the door, the cat ran away. 

…see what I’m getting at here? Your emotions, those ones that are overwhelming you and feel so good and gut wrenching and alive? Those are amazing emotions to feel. But try and remember that you are absolutely deserving of love. You deserve someone who cares about you this much. The next time he says “I love you”, let it roll around in your head and your heart. Let it feel as good as those words should feel. It may not be a love for eternity, because that happens sometimes, but let that love help make you into a stronger, more beautiful human being. Let it be some of the nails on the house you’re building for yourself. Not all the nails, and for god’s sake not the hammer, but some of the nails can come from this man’s caring about you.

Pet that cat. Feed that cat, and be kind to it. Don’t be so afraid that it’s going to run away, and it won’t. And don’t forget to be kind to yourself, because that’s part of the reason cats stick around. 

you give but you cannot take love